Today I am fighting with all that I am made of to not spin down into the black hole of depression which I have known before. I am not quite sure where this is coming from. I have been free of depression for just about 9 or 10 years. With the exception of almost 5 years ago when I gave birth. I had a three week bout with postpartum depression. Other than that I only experience the blues once in a while like anyone else does.
I am convinced that springtime and the end of another school year has something to do with it. My little guy will finish up his last year of preschool this week on Friday. In the fall he will be in kindergarten already! My older son has just finished his second year of college and will be 20 in August. I've had other things on my mind this past week as well. I lost a baby 9 years ago today at midnight. My cousin's death was almost a year ago now. Too many of my friends are too busy to get together these days. It's all a little overwhelming and very lonely.
I am not fond of change I will admit, but I usually handle things better than I have been of late. I am in desperate need of some fun! We were planning on going to New York City this weekend for 5 days, but had to cancel due to some unexpected expenses, the swine flu helped a bit, and our oldest wasn't going to be able to go at the last minute. I can take a hint. We were not supposed to go for some reason...
All the rain this spring has given way to some beautiful green grass, flowers, and trees. I am ready for some sunny days though, so the weather will warm up. So rain, rain go away...come again another day.
How was your day? I am done getting things off my chest. Now do I dare post this or hit delete?!