Where Does The Time Go...

My little guy is four and will be five in about 2 months. It seems as though he was just a 2 week old new born last month. How is this possible? There are four weeks of 4 year old preschool left for him. I would love to slow time, but since I know that is not possible I will instead spend every moment I can snuggling, reading to, talking to, playing with, teaching, and loving my sweet little boy. I don't want to miss one precious moment. He is the most energetic and lively little person I have ever known. Everyone loves him and he loves everyone. He's funny and smart and loves life. Not much gets by him and I am positive he will not miss out on anything he wants in life.

My older son will be 20 in August. This seems utterly impossible to me that he is no longer a little guy. Again I feel as though he were just a baby yesterday. How do we let the years go by so quickly without realizing the important moments are slipping away when we're not looking. He is a strong, intelligent, funny, and loving human being. I love spending time talking with, and listening to him. He is a gentle soul and always has been a very easy going person. We have always had a close relationship and can talk about anything. He loves his little brother and his little brother idolizes him.

Two boys, fifteen years apart in age...where does the time go...

Eventually...

There are many things on my personal "To Do" list. It is personal because it has nothing to do with my family life, and it is not a matter of life and death if these thing don't happen. Maybe I should treat them as though they are life and death so I would get them all done. I have many big aspirations about many projects. My writing, knitting, quilting, paintings, books to read, clay projects, new artistic skills I would like to try, scrapbooking, tweaking my blog (adding photos to the content), setting up my etsy shop, crafts with my little one, time with friends, etc...as you can see the list goes on and on and...I keep telling myself I will involve my four year old in these activities, and that will allow me to work on them. Ha! That never works, because in order to get to them I feel I "should" do the household chores first, then I can "play". When the chores don't all get done I then feel as if I can't do the fun stuff. It is a never ending cycle! I use to do the things I love when I felt like it, but I have let the "shoulds" invade my psyche. This is a quick and effective way to bring to a screeching halt a persons creativity!

One of the lies I tell myself is, "I suppose if I really wanted to do the things on my list I would JUST DO IT!" I think I do this to try and feel better about not doing what I want. Why as women do we constantly tell ourselves the lie that EVENTUALLY when we have time we will get to it (whatever "it" may be)?! I need to do the fun stuff sometimes or I get very grouchy. Yet, I rarely do the activities I listed, so as you can probably imagine I am and have been very grouchy lately!

So here's what I'm thinking...it would actually benefit my family for me to get to some of the items on my list. Right?! No more grouchy wife and momma. No more telling myself, "When I have time I will ________." No more putting fun last.

Yes, I'm sure I will do this EVENTUALLY...

A Person's Perceptions Are As Individual As Their Fingerprints...

If three different people were to read the same story, more than likely you would get three different perspectives on that story. This is what happened last Friday evening at the writer's group I belong to. I read a piece I had written for my Nonfiction Magazine Article class, which had been well received the evening before in my class, by the instructor as well as other class members. The goal of this writer's group is networking, and helping each other to become the best writer's we can be. One of the activities at the meetings is for anyone who wishes to, to read their work aloud. After the reading other members can either verbally critique what had been read, or write their critique on an index card, meant for the writer's eyes alone. I never read the critique's at the meeting. I will usually wait until I am home and settled in for the night. I like to savor the good one's, and to decifer the one's which I am not clear what the person was trying to say. I had quite a few critique's Friday. All different perspective's, some made no sense whatsoever, other's appreciative of my writing and honest story telling. I write nonficiton primarily. So they are not only commenting on my technical writing skills, but also my opinion or style of writing has come under scrutiny. There are those who totally do not get what the piece is about and they can be the most critical and downright nasty. How what I've written is being percieved is like night and day from one person to the next. It's as individual as a person's fingerprints...to each his own...

Put Away for Safe Keeping...

Have you ever put something away in a specific spot for safe keeping, and then when you need it you cannot find it? I have (I use the word "have" loosely) a file folder full of poems, essays, and other pieces I have written over the last 11 years, and I am unable to lay my hands on it. Over the last few years I have come across it several times and always put it away so I wouldn't misplace it. Ha! A lot of good that did me...it's been misplaced. My house is not that big and I have turned it upside down looking for my folder of written work. I am just hoping that the last time I ran across it I didn't toss it out in frustration while decluttering my home. Some of my best writing, I am eager to find it. Wherever it may be, it definitely is safe...safe from me...

1 Rainy Day + 1 Lovely Friend + Easy Conversation = A Wonderfully Enjoyable Time...

It has been a little more than 2 years since my friend and I have seen each other. Over the last couple of years there have been tentative plans to get together, but the usual happened, "something came up" (mostly on my part). Sunday however, we made it to our planned destination, and it was a wonderful time. I have known my friend since June of 1995, we both signed up to take a year long "Baltimore Album" quilt class. We are about the same age and being the two youngest in the class, we naturally gravitated toward each other. We discovered we have sons the same age, and over the years many of the same beliefs and values surfaced as well. The conversation was, and always has been, very easy. Months or even years may pass since last we saw one another, but each time it's as if we pick up the conversation (usually very brief) right where we left it. There is a great deal we have in common and the funny part is we have never really "known" each other. As cliche' as it is, "cut from the same cloth" is how I would describe us. Faith, family, home, friends, and creative work are priorities we both value. So this time together on Sunday, was significant. This was the first time, in the almost 14 years that we've "known" each other, that we sat down, shared a meal, shared more of ourselves (and our lives), and really started to get to know each other. In some ways it's like having a brand new friend, but in reality it was the continuation of a friendship that has spanned over a decade of time. There is a mutual fondness for one another and it has always been as though we are kindred spirits. It is in times like these when I can truly see the hand of God in my life. I cherish this very special friend and look forward to many more get togethers in the future. Friends of the heart are indeed a rare find in life meant to be cherished. Though it was a gray rainy day, sharing time with a lovely friend was a bright spot and a blessing...