Perspective About Life Becomes So Clear...

Wow...it has been two whole months since my last post. So much has gone on in that time. Drew, our oldest has been accepted to a four year college of his choice, we have been to Disney World, celebrated Thanksgiving, started getting ready for Christmas, and sadly Drew just lost his best friend on Sunday. The funeral will be this Friday, and Drew will be writing and delivering an eulogy at his funeral.

I cannot believe this has happened again. Josh, was the most beautiful young person in every way. He lit up the room whenever he was around. He was happy go lucky, always smiling, kind, very personable, polite, and a funny person. He had a sincere and honest spirit about him, was very good with little ones, and had a very distinctive skip to his walk. In a good way of course. Whenever I would ask Drew as he was going out the door, "Where are you off to?", more time's than not it has been "I'm going to Josh's". He was just one of those people to whom everyone was drawn to. You know the person you really enjoy being around, but you can't explain it. It just is. He will be dearly missed by many people, but at the top of that list is my son. My heart breaks for him, knowing that there is nothing I can do to ease the pain of such a devastating loss.

As I watch him mourn his best friend it is very humbling to realize what a sensitive and empathetic young man he has become. The little boy I have been raising for the last two decades of my life is no longer. In his place is a confident, calm, and compassionate grown up. Who until very recently I was worried about being able to handle the sometimes cold, harsh realities of life. How relieved I am to realize there is no longer a need to worry. I am confident he is going to be just fine, and I can now become the mom to him that is also his friend and confidant. We have always, I am proud and honored to say, been very close and have always had an open and honest relationship. Being able to talk with your child about anything in life that could possibly come up, is the best possible goal a parent could hope to attain.

It is in times of sorrow, such as these, that your perspective about life becomes so clear...sleep well dear Josh...You will be missed by many.

I Finally Have Photos...

After much trial and error I have figured out how to upload photos from my camera memory card...it helped to load the camera software onto my computer (I've only had the camera since last September 2008)! I do not claim to be a technology wiz so...

This is a short post tonight. It is late and I am off to bed. I will get this blog up to par soon.

Have a very restful and pleasant night.

Woo Hoo!!! I finally have photos!!!

Taking It in a Different Direction...

I have been doing a lot of thinking and self reflection the last few months, and decided some things in my life were in need of change. I feel like I have been bombarded with negativity. Some put on me by others, and some I put on myself. I made the decision to cut ties with certain negative people who are toxic to everyone around them. The kind of negativity that when you are around them you literally start to feel bad. People you are not able to be yourself around, because they take everything you say and twist it into something negative. Life is too short to waste time trying to measure up to some impossible standard someone else has set for everyone but themselves.

I would like to have more joy and laughter in my life. Instead of dwelling on how I wish things were, I am going to focus on the good things right in front of me. The moments of everyday life that are often overlooked. I am going to look for the joy and laughter, the sunlight and love, the kindness and warmth. No more dreading the mundane jobs of housekeeping. I am going to find the joy in even the smallest of things. How things feel, smell, sound, taste, and look. Whatever makes me smile is what will get my attention.

Seeing and hearing the negative in the news everyday is bad enough. I do have a choice of how much I let into my everyday life, and I choose less... much, much less!

I am in denial you say? No, I am finally learning at 47 years of age that I don't have to put up with certain things. Negativity for no reason, is one of the things I am not willing to put up with any longer. I don't like mean people and I don't have to put up with anyone being mean to me or others I care about. I am not a mean person and would feel horrible if I ever hurt another person's feelings. I have seen so much of this behavior lately and it is very discouraging. All people deserve to be treated with respect and love.

My favorite quote is, "Be happy in this moment for this moment is your life". I am going to take this to heart and remind myself of it everyday. As a result I am going to rethink this blog and will be taking it and my attitude in a different direction...a much more upbeat and positive direction.

In The Blink of An Eye

My Little guy just started kindergarten today...and I was a mess after I dropped him off at school this morning! Being the independent boy that he is, he practically ran from the van to get into school. He did however, turn around to smile and wave three times before heading inside. I am so happy that he is so secure in the fact that we would be back for him in the afternoon, after school was over for the day. I would rather him be that way instead of not wanting to go, and crying.

It was hard for me because the last few days I have not slept well. Due to thinking about how fast the time has gone and how much faster it will go now that he is in school full time. It has taken no time at all for him to reach 5 years old! You give birth to this beautiful baby one day and in the blink of an eye that baby is off to school...

I picked him up and he was one exhausted kid. He laid down on the couch for about an hour and a half once we got home. Not too long after that he was outside with his dad and their golf clubs. Oh, to have that much energy! What I could accomplish in an afternoon...

Until next time...don't blink to fast you may miss something!

Here We Go...

Here I am. I have been decluttering my house for the last several days. One small area at a time. As they say, "Baby steps". We have 27 years worth of stuff, and I am so tired of it that finally I am determined to not let anything get in the way of decluttering and clearing all the unused stuff out!

I will admit that most of the clutter is mine. I am a book-a-holic, so we have a not so small library in our basement. I have all kinds and colors of fabrics and threads as well as the quilting books and patterns to go with it all. I have all the usual fine art supplies for watercolor, oil, and acrylic painting (books included). I started out cross stitching years ago. My yarn stash, knitting books, and knitting needles could rival a small yarn shop's inventory. I used to sell rubber stamps for a well known stamping company, for which I had to keep a well stocked supply to demonstrate at parties (this turned into scrapbooking). Then there are all the other odds and ends used in creating arts and crafts, which I have aquired through the years. Did I mention my collection of cookbooks?

I have always been a person who likes to create things. Ever since I was a little girl sitting at my mom and grandmother's feet, playing with buttons, scraps of fabric, and thread, while they sewed clothing for themselves and me. I was encouraged to use my hands to make something from nothing. I caught on quickly and never let go.

As much joy as I have gotten over the years out of making things, all the "stuff" has become a touchy subject in my family. I have also finally become tired of looking at all the piles of clutter. I am on a mission in such a way that I have never been before. I am putting my family's well being, and my own, first for a change. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to important issues I have always done that, but I also have always put other "fun" things first. No more...it has started to affect my mood, my husbands mood, and because of our moods it trickles down to the boys.

It will take a while, you know, it took the last at least 18 years to get this way so it won't be cleared out over night, but it will be cleared out sooner than later.I am actually enjoying getting rid of things. I look at it as making way for a restful environment, more time for fun family outings with a clear mind, and more time for creating with my little guy who loves art as much as his momma.

Here we go...